Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child
Friday, January 18th, 2008 |
What happened to the good ol’ days when parents used to threaten their children with caning when they misbehave? Apparently at some point of time, people realized that caning is just too much a punishment for children and rallied against caning in search of an alternative way of punishment. Right now people seem to be more inclined to other forms of punishment such as sending the misbehaving child to his or her room without a meal.
This is bad, because caning a child helps to discipline a child. It tells a child that there are boundaries as to what they are allowed to do or say, then it makes the child adhere to those boundaries in fear of receiving a royal slashing again. Alternative punishment doesn’t seem to sink in anymore, and children gradually become more rebellious than before. What’s the point of disciplining a child when it doesn’t leave a mark to constantly remind the child to behave?
In a weird sense, let’s look back at Ivan Pavlov’s experiments with his dogs. The presentation of food becomes a stimuli for the dog to salivate. The dog has shown a form of conditional reflex, whereby the presentation of food represents the condition for the dog to involuntarily salivate. Back to the caning topic, the presence of a cane will act as a stimuli for the child to behave because of the fear it instills within the child.
I used to be disciplined by the rod, until I was mature enough to know how to stay out of trouble. The fact that my parents are very temperamental people doesn’t help at all. I used to get cane marks on my legs, instead of my palm because I was rather hyperactive - I ran around the room in pain in order to avoid a slashing, but it seemed to prompt random slashes that got me anyway.
Today I’ve grown into an adult knowing very well that it is important to behave myself at all times. I have been taught to be nice. It’s rare for me to say something bad about someone right in front of one’s face. I avoid confrontation because rage begets rage - I naturally expect the other party to be angry as well. I’m just not the aggressive type of person that you would normally attribute to people scaling the heights of a business corporation. In short, I’m just an averagely nice person who appreciates what is nice in life and lives with the niceness for as long as possible.
This is what differs me from my siblings. My sister is 4 years younger than me, and my brother is way younger than the both of us. I was spoken to by one of them in a very sarcastic and rude manner yesterday. I wanted to stage a confrontation, but natural instincts have pulled me back for a good reason. I knew it was pointless to engage in a shouting match, which I would have lost anyway. The louder voice doesn’t always win. The worse insults do.
My siblings were spared from the rod, because my parents realized the kind of trauma excessive caning can bring to a child. I don’t exactly understand what does excessive caning really mean. How much is too much? Probably when the child has marks all over his body, or is struck too hard, only then it counts as excessive caning.
I guess, in the future, the rod will not be spared from my children (if I have any) but I certainly don’t want to run all over the place slashing the cane like some sport. I believe some caning on the palm or on the butt is good enough to keep a child on his or her toes.
